"It is not going to be launched in English..."

said the suit to the writer, meaning you should accept the broken English from the client.

"Oh, you mean a period."

Creative: "Can you put a fullstop at the end of your sentences in the document please?"
Suit: "What is a fullstop?"
Creative: ..... (jaw slowly dropping, opens a document and points to the dot at the end of a sentence.)
Suit: "Oh, you mean a period."

On shit writers

well, it is tough isn't it. I would like to be compassionate but in this case I am not. If you are a freelance writer, the most you can or should do is to try your very best to do a good job so that people will call you again. He is also a freelance property agent so he is always on the phone and missing in action for a 3 hour lunch when I am solving problems. Do I slightly empathize with him? Friggin' no. Call me heartless but he is not hard up for money and he is running both jobs just so that in case one of the industries happen to be quiet at some time. He even said that he wants to take a break after this gig because he is 'sian'. Excuse me! You hardly worked and according to him, this is his first freelance gig of the year!

It just seems like the ad agency is paying him to handle his property sideline, also providing the office amenities like a free landline and photocopiers.

I am sure it isn't his dream job because he sucks at it. Everyone is complaining about the scripts. His words cannot bring the story alive and I have to use visuals to support those limp words when visuals are not needed at this stage.

I tried to be understanding and not judge too quickly. But more than 2 weeks have passed and I am covering his ass as I have no choice. We are a 'team' and the deadlines need to be met. I think after more than 2 weeks, I am allowed to judge when the dude is just sitting there waiting for me to come out with the ideas. Dude, really...

"Can u add in A,B,C,D,E.F and G" into the line? And can you make it shorter like a 5 word sentence."

said the suit and Head-of-Art-Wannabe to the creative.

"Where is the color?"

said the client looking at the 4 color Positive films.

"This 6 second music, can you make it better?"

said the client to the creative.

"Can you talk faster but slow it down?"

said the client or suit to the creative when presenting.

"Why are we running a cartoon?"

said a junior client commenting on an animatic.

"We are here to make you famous."

said the agency to the client during a meeting or a pitch.

"Ok, I am playing devil's advocate here... "

said the Creative Director to everyone else in the meeting. Or, the suit to the Creatives. Oscar nominations.

"I am not the client but I think he would say..."

said the suit to everyone else (more often than not, the creatives).

"Can you check your sms..."

said the Creative Director (coz i just sms u to ask u to check your email).

"Nothing in this world is more common than unsuccessful people with talent."

Anon.

"I need the black to be darker."

said the Creative Director to the Art Director.

"Hey, we are doing you a favor by booking you for a month."

said a suit to a freelancer to take on the job, only to ask the freelancer and partner to leave after 2 weeks of work because she never did prepare enough budget in the first place.

"But the proposition is the brief!"

said the Creatives to the Creative Director when there was no proposition on the brief. The proposition was a mere summary of the brief. Creative Director said, "But she is a planner, she knows what she is doing." NOT! The Creative Director should have the decency to vet the brief and no, she was a media planner but the agency hired her thinking it is the same as a strategic planner. ROFL!

"This needs a donkey bridge..."

said the suit. A donkey bridge means an idea that needs to be linked to another idea, meaning more work, meaning cancel your dates.

"Just humor me."

said a Creative Director who insisted on his ideas although no one thought they were any good.

"Yea I know."

said an Art Director who is consistently clueless. If you knew, why didn't you say earlier but only after people have mentioned it.

"Who said that? Opps, I forgot he is part of the team."

said a suit on a Creative Director who is so so so painfully obviously useless.